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Guide to Urethral Sounding

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Seatlte Dominatrix Ruby Enraylls Latex Medical Fetish Mistress, Expert on Urethral Sounding

Urethral Sounding is a very popular medfet activity and due to its popularity in videos, its something that many people are curious about. The first question I am always asked is “does it hurt?” The answer should be “no!” As long as you use the appropriate lube, correct angle, adequate technique, good instruments and everything is sanitary- Sounding should NOT be painful. For that matter, catheterization really shouldn’t be either but plastic is harder to work with than metal but I digress. That’s why I threw away all of my silicone sounds.

In my opinion, soft skills like power exchange and humiliation play are much harder to master than hard skills like urethra sounding. This is because there is a simple set of rules and guidelines you can follow to achieve your goal. With soft skills, it gets a bit trickier. Let’s start with what you absolutely need to have in order to actually do urethral sounding- The gear.

The Gear for Urethral Sounding

What Urethral Sounds Should I Buy?

There are many models of sounds. For beginners, I recommend Double Ended Pratt urethra Sounds or Double Ended Hegar urethra sounds.  Rolled steel sounds are best, they are more expensive but they will last longer and you can run them through an autoclave or boil them. Sounds come either millimeters or french for sizing purposes. 1 mm is 3 fr. So a 6mm sound is also an 18fr. Typically sounds come in kits unless you are buying an unusual style but I wouldn’t recommend starting with that.

Individually Packaged Sterile Lube

Why individually packaged surgical lube? Simple. Once you open it, it is no longer sterile. That’s fine for other play but with sounding. You want to maintain as clean of a field as possible. Pretend that you are playing surgeon. When I am doing a sounding scene, I pay attention to order of operations- If there is any butt stuff, that comes last.


Cleaning Your urethral Sounds

The traditional way is boiling them or running them through an autoclave if you have it.
You want to have medical grade sealing sterilization pouches that fit your sounds, pop them in and boil them for at least 20 minutes.
Once they are done cooking, do not remove them from the package until you are ready to use them because you will break the sterile field.
However, many sounds are only coated and not solid pure steel and boiling breaks down the coating. If you aren’t sure of the quality of your sounds or you don’t have sealed medical packets to sterilize your sounds in, wipe them down with a medical grade cleaner like cavicide. However, you need to make absolutely sure to completely remove and clean the disinfectant off before use as it is harmful to humans and even melts plastics! 

Prepping for Urethral Sounding

Always inspect your sounds for any rust, degradation, cracks or rough spots before use. These cosmetic issues can be a home for bacteria or worse, cut your partner’s intimate parts during play. You definitely don’t want that! Before using my sounds,  I make sure that I have grabbed my lube packets, BZK or alcohol wipes and have wiped down a surface to hold all my things. (Medical trays or tables work well.)
If I haven’t used the boiling method, I will wipe my sounds down with alcohol or BZK if they have not been boiled and I repeat the process with my gloves and the urethra. (Pro tip: BZK doesn’t sting. But make sure to check the expiration date on anything you use, including lube.) Allow time for the solution to dry, this is how most sanitizers kill bacteria and viruses.

Beginning with Urethral Sounding

Urethral sounding is pretty straightforward. You want to match the size of the rod to the hole of the urethra, going larger means it won’t fit and too small runs the risk of scratching or puncturing the wall so it has to be just right. You are better going too large than too small though. By holding the tip of a sound near the opening to the urethra, you can guess the size.
In order to sound someone, you want to lubricate the sound, being careful to not allow the open part of the lube packet or the sound to touch other surfaces and once your sound is out of the sterile packet, you cannot set it down or touch past the handle or outside the center (depending on the type.) Don’t worry, this is the most difficult part.

Allow the Weight of the Urethral Sound to Carry it

Once your sound is lubricated, align it with the urethra and allow the weight of the sound to slowly pull it in while you gently hold the base of the penis to prevent bending (if your partner has one.) Be careful to not lose your grip or let go, as you may end up with the sound completely lost (it is retrievable but you want to avoid this.) Ask if there is ANY discomfort, burning, stretching, poking, if it hurts or feels wrong. Also look for any redness, signs of inflammation (redness or swelling,) and of course, bleeding. If all is good, then you’re good to go. Sometimes folks can have a reaction to the lube so it’s good to have a couple brand choices and/or different batch on hand. Or it may just be too inflammatory for someone that day or entirely. Everyone’s body is different and the worst thing you can do with something delicate is force it to happen. Same with fisting.

Now that your sound is comfortably inside, you can glide it in and out! Feel free to experiment with different shapes and types of sounds. One of my favorite shops is The Chain Gang. They have some great guides and typically offer much higher quality toys than you’ll run into on Amazon or your average BDSM shop as they are a specialty store.
Good luck and have fun!

Still curious? Feel free to contact me!

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How Do I find a Dominatrix near me?

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Seattle Dominatrix Ruby Enraylls wears galaxy print latex dress and fetish boots, meet a dominatrix near you

How do I find a dominatrix?

I am often asked the question “how do I meet a dominatrix?” or “how do I find a dominatrix near me?” Having my location obviously posted, I find these questions a little confusing. Why would someone ask me of all people to help find a Dominatrix near them? I’ve done several YouTube videos, one of which has over 5 million views, so it makes sense to ask me even if I’m just a Seattle Dominatrix.

Why meet a professional Dominatrix anyway?

There are many reasons why you should meet a professional Dominatrix over someone who is purely lifestyle, the number one reason being that we are professionals. Being professional means that:

  • We are highly skilled in the art of BDSM, very accepting and have a lot of experience. As such you are less likely to get hurt and more likely to have a great time.
  • We have awesome dungeons because we’re more invested and our toy collections are very impressive. Why wouldn’t we be the ideal BDSM date?
  • Most importantly.. We are No drama. When the scene ends, we aren’t going to pull a Fatal Attraction on you. We want to keep this arrangement as relaxed and carefree as you do. 

How do I find a dominatrix near me?

Well, that’s why you’re here isn’t it? You have probably taken some missteps along the way, maybe you’ve fallen for a scam. Here is my order of preference to help you meet a dominatrix near you.

  • Use google. Terms like “dominatrix in Seattle”, “local Dominatrix”, “Seattle mistress”, “dominatrix near me” or “seattle dominatrix”. But replace Seattle with your city or state. You will find at least one website.
  • Browse Adult Ads. Sites like Eros or Tryst are great are pretty reputable.
  • Social media alone is Dodgy. Use social media to verify an ad or a website is real. If someone contacts you via social media, they are fake.
  • Do your own research. Research should mean connecting information you find. Make sure an Instagram profile is linked on a website. Check the age of that website on wayback machine to make sure it isn’t a fake of another website. Reverse image search images.
  • Here are some tips. Google the name, number and email you find. What does it pull up? Does it match other information? Is it blank? If it all matches other information, she’s probably legit.

Where do I not find a local Dominatrix?


Catfish love to pretend to be professional mistresses, they frequent the following and will approach you first. Remember, if it seems to go to be true, it probably is.

  • Fetish Dating Sites
  • Social Media (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit)
  • Dominatrix Dating Sites
  • Messenger Apps (Snapchat, WhatsApp, Discord, Signal, Telegram)
  • Any Dating Site
  • Kink Specific Apps

A scammer will contact you first from these methods. They will message you a lot and it will seem ideal but there will be some red flags like they will have a payment method that goes to a man or will only take BTC. Use reverse Google image search on the photos they send. Always.
Now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way..

How do I book a BDSM session with a Dominatrix?


Most Dominatrixes have websites. READ THEM. We have specific contact instructions and screening. Follow our rules and you will be rewarded. Typically we will ask you to contact us via our contact forms or email. Text is for those who know us and have established relationships or for last minute instructions. Calling without being given permission or instruction to do so will annoy us. Doing anything outside of our instructions that is more convenient for you than it is for us will annoy us. Think about how you would make a good impression for a first time job interview, you would not expect the other person to jump through hoops for you. Do not expect a Dominatrix to jump through hoops for you either. Approach with respect and be courteous. You do not have to go overboard but simple things like reading do’s and don’t beforehand can go a long way.

How do I make a good impression?

  • follow all her rules
  • Don’t ask too many questions, particularly if they are already answered on her website.
  • Ask questions that are relevant and present yourself honestly.
  • Understand that time is money for everyone. Approaching a Mistress is all about respect. If your initial approach involves many asks, compensating for that shows that you are going the extra mile to be respectful.
  • Use the right method to contact her. Be it a booking form, professional email or otherwise.

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Cut Lineup | A Dominatrix Guesses Who’s a Virgin

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Cut Lineup | Dominatrix Guesses Who's a Virgin

It’s been a while since I did a Cut video! They were nice enough to invite me back to guess who is a virgin. I wanted to make a point of guessing who I thought was going to be the “obvious” choice with the intent of highlighting how cultural biases are often incorrect. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I did when filming it!

Watch the video here!

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4 Problems Submissives Face and How to Cope

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train your husband to be your bdsm slave

I’m Afraid of Rejection

Everyone has been afraid of rejection at one point or another, it can feel even worse when you are looking for a kinky partner. You might feel weird or abnormal but you aren’t. Pre 50 Shades of Grey, 36% of Americans were into some form of BDSM. Considering the huge jump of inquiries I have gotten after the release of every 50 Shades movie and how many people use it as short hand, I imagine that number is higher now. For scope, ever so slightly more than 1 in every 3 people were kinky in 2005. Worldwide it was 1 in 5.

So if you’re weird, so is a large portion of the population. We just aren’t talking about it.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-more-bdsm-rest-world-180949703/

My Partner Isn’t Interested

The most difficult thing I personally think is finding someone whose interests match yours. This has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you or your partner, it just means you like different things. The real issue is that many people find it so difficult to talk about that it stews. You wouldn’t have a major issue over your partner not liking the same food or movies as you though, you would find a compromise. For some this means exploring together and service play (service topping) and for others it can mean opening up relationships. In both cases, it’s important to have clear negotiation and an open dialogue throughout.

I Can’t Say What I Want

Communication in all contexts is critical. Especially when it comes to play. At a certain point, you just have to bite the bullet and try to have a discussion Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Playing Went Wrong

I’m Afraid of Rejection

Everyone has been afraid of rejection at one point or another, it can feel even worse when you are looking for a kinky partner. You might feel weird or abnormal but you aren’t. Pre 50 Shades of Grey, 36% of Americans were into some form of BDSM. Considering the huge jump of inquiries I have gotten after the release of every 50 Shades movie and how many people use it as short hand, I imagine that number is higher now. For scope, ever so slightly more than 1 in every 3 people were kinky in 2005. Worldwide it was 1 in 5.

So if you’re weird, so is a large portion of the population. We just aren’t talking about it.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-more-bdsm-rest-world-180949703/

My Partner Isn’t Interested

The most difficult thing I personally think is finding someone whose interests match yours. This has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you or your partner, it just means you like different things. The real issue is that many people find it so difficult to talk about that it stews. You wouldn’t have a major issue over your partner not liking the same food or movies as you though, you would find a compromise. For some this means exploring together and service play (service topping) and for others it can mean opening up relationships. In both cases, it’s important to have clear negotiation and an open dialogue throughout.

I Can’t Say What I Want

Communication in all contexts is critical. Especially when it comes to play. At a certain point, you just have to bite the bullet and try to have a discussion Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Playing Went Wrong

Preach to the choir, we have all had something go wrong at some point. That is how you learn and the beauty of doing it with someone who is compassionate s that you ideally should be able to learn together. At least, that has largely been my experience. Sometimes it takes some time to find the right way to phrase things, communicate your needs or even find the right people but if you’re patient and diligent, you will find what you’re looking for.

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All About Corsets! for Sissies, Feminization, and Crossdressing

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Seattle Strapon and corset dominatrix ruby

Corset training can be an excellent part of any feminization routine or a wonderful set of sissy tasks. If you want to make your body more feminine, it’s a great way to do it without any big changes, so it’s a great option for a man, sissy or casual player to explore. They can range from cheap to very pricey depending on your needs, budget and how fancy you want to be. That being said, you can often get what you need for your closet without breaking the bank.

I’m going to answer some basic questions that you may have about how to fit a corset, this is part one about picking a corset. I’m briefly touching on several other topics I’m going to cover later such as body types, corset styles and fabrics. If you would like an individual consultation about sizing any type of clothing or shoes or selecting make up based on your skin, please feel free to contact me. Moving along..

How do I measure for a corset?

You need to measure your natural waist size in order to size a corset. You can measure your natural waist size one inch above your belly button.

Once measured, always choose a corset 2-4 inches smaller than your natural waist to achieve the ‘hourglass’ effect. The amount you “size down” is how tight the corset will close and depending on your shape and the shape of the corset you should size accordingly. Always read size guides.

Some fashion corsets may not come with traditional sizing, in which case I would refer to my previous sizing guide.

Where is my waist?

Your waist is the smallest part of your abdomen. Usually one inch above your belly button but it varies on some people. Take a fabric tape measure and pull it somewhat right around your waist, where does it gather to? (When measuring don’t cinch tightly, hold the tape loosely.) This also gives you information about your body shape. However, that is for a different post.

Can I use corsets designed for female bodies?

Yes! But they all fit differently. There is a simple over bust and under bust as far as length but there are also long line (for long torso which come in both under and over,) cinchers, waspies and corset belts. All in descending order of coverage.

You also want to pay attention to how much curve a corset has. Most “real” corsets have some kind of metal boning in them but fashion corsets which have the least support use plastic and are the most forgiving. A real corset will have corded laces or strings of some sort (like a shoe lace,) not generally ribbon or zippers as they will break easily with repeated lacing/zipping

Tight lacing cotton corset
Product: Cotton Tight lacing Corset from Mystic City Corsets
A tight lacing or hourglass corset is more on extreme end and is usually not for beginners but is incredible for creating a perfect curve. Tight lacing is the technique used to create a well defined hourglass figure.

Another thing to think about is the type of fabric used. Is it mesh, leather, satin, cotton, brocade? They all wear, sit, fit and stretch differently.

For example, a mesh corset will breath more which is better for wearing under clothes but it is less usable for tighter lacing (waist reduction) and will break down faster. Alternatively, you could wear it over your clothes for an alternative look.
Mesh Waspie Corset
Product:

A satin corset looks prettier on the outside (and would make a great sissy corset) but may get lots of runs in the fabric or stain easily depending on the color. Satin, cotton and brocade tend to be fairly default when it comes to corsets. PVC, leather and latex are more speciality fabrics.

Satin underbust corset
Product: Satin underbust corset from Orchard Corset

Will wearing a corset change the shape of my body?

Over time repeated and consistent wear of a corset can change your shape but such pursuits should be undertaken with caution. If you only wear a corset occasionally, your body will return back to its original shape once you remove your corset. If you desire to change your waist size through corset training, it requires dedication

References:
https://www.orchardcorset.com/pages/corset-sizing
https://www.rebelsmarket.com/blog/posts/types-of-corsets-how-to-wear-them
https://www.leaf.tv/9749781/does-your-body-go-back-to-normal-when-you-take-off-a-corset/

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A Dominatrix Guesses Strangers Kinks (Ruby)

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A Dominatrix Guesses Strangers Kinks

Something like six months ago I was in a series couple of videos titled A Dominatrix Guesses Strangers Kinks and Guess My Kink Lineup by Cut. They were created by a Youtube studio called Cut that creates content that creates funny, entertaining, prankish and oddly bias challenging videos. When one of the reps contacted me to do the video, I felt comfortable working with them having had done a couple videos before but I had no idea what to expect this time around nor did I have any idea what would happen as a result of the videos being published.

“Guess My Kink” sounded like a game that I could win, so I was game. What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional impact it would have on me.

During the filming, we had time to connect with each other but the initial camera time I was very off kilter- I was in a room by myself and had no opportunity to connect with anyone. (Although I did make friends with several people after the fact.) It was unlike any time I had been on set because I had been completely alone prior and didn’t know anyone. I know that was part of the point but it was quite unnerving. Once I stepped on to the set, I had to instantly turn on into my normal mode but it wasn’t quite right.

I often play a game of a dominatrix guesses strangers kinks as a party trick or just as an every day part of my life but when you’re dealing with absolute strangers, under video lighting with cameras rolling it becomes a different game. What if I say something humiliating? What if I reveal too much about other people? What if I sound biased or rude? I became very self conscious and suddenly had no idea where I was standing with regard to other people. Then it hit me, this was the whole point of the creation of the video. Other than myself, everyone just looked like people you might find on the street and on any other given day so do I. People in the BDSM community are just like everyone else and unless you know someone pretty intimately their kinks might surprise you. I knew from watching other Cut videos that creating videos was designed to challenge the viewers but I didn’t realize that I was part of that venture. I consider myself fairly open minded but I suppose you can always be more open minded and considerate of others.

Anyway, I believe that our beliefs (both positive and negative) should be challenged. I hope that you too are given wonderful opportunities to open your mind and explore your biases and thoughts.

Watch the video here!

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The Ultimate Guide to Drinking Urine

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watersports human toilet

The Ultimate Guide to Drinking Urine

Welcome to the Ultimate Guide for Drinking Urine! Clearly I have piqued your curiosity, so here I am going to outline the risks associated with drinking urine and how to avoid them with an eye towards safely receiving your mistress’ gifts. It is very safe to drink your own urine but there are some minor safety concerns involved in drinking another person’s urine. In most healthy people urine is sterile and free of harmful bacteria, viruses, or other substances. Let’s dive in and talk about the details.

Why do people want to drink urine?

Drinking urine is a very primal thing. Often times it is tied to desires of being a human toilet. Assuming something that has passed through someone else’s body and been prepared especially for you makes you feel closer to them. Water is a substance that is central to life and you are getting it from your partner. At the same time it carries overtones of dominance, submission, and ownership. Urine is used to mark things as property. While we are not wild animals it is hard to escape the idea that something we have urinated on or in belongs to us. It is something very primal and deeply encoded. It also carries a mark of humiliation in that you are being treated as property. You become a toilet. It is a complex interplay of feelings and associations that can be quite strong.

Is it safe?

For the most part yes. In most normal healthy people urine is sterile and free of bacteria and viruses. While there may be some risk of STI transmission with direct genital contact, that is no different than any other consensual activity and appropriate precautions should be taken.

So if urine is mostly safe, what shouldn’t you do with it?

Don’t drink urine that has been sitting out (for any period of time longer than maybe an hour.) As I’ve mentioned, urine has bacteria and it will grow outside the body, the bacteria is how you get a UTI. It’s better fresh anyways.

Don’t drink urine that has been refrigerated for several days. Again, bacteria growth is an issue.

Take caution when drinking the urine of someone who is taking drug or prescriptions that are processed through the kidneys (if the urine is heavily diluted, it makes this less of an issue.) Whatever someone is taking will come out through their urine and although in trace/small amounts you will end up consuming. You should particularly take caution if you are taking any prescriptions that may interact.

Don’t drink urine if you are dehydrated or overheating, the minerals that are excreted in urine can exacerbate this and cause you to have some issues.

Don’t drink a very large quantity of urine at one time.

Although 95-90% sterile, the body filters what you put into it through the kidneys and puts out some waste into the urine. That being said, drinking urine is harmless if fresh and the producer is not on any substances that may be harmful to you. It has a small amount of bacteria/minerals (urea, potassium, sodium and creatinine) that can be harmful if consumed in very large quantities or if left for several days. If you stay well hydrated and don’t consume a large quantity of urine, you should be fine. I’d say for every glass of urine you drink, you should also drink a glass of water.

In closing, drinking urine is largely a safe activity especially compared to some of the risks that we can encounter as kinksters. Have fun and stay safe!

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