9/22/2013
Good Evening Ruby, I just wanted to touch base with you and thank you for such an incredible session. I liked that you were taller than me, and you being so attractive, I think weakens the defenses of the male brain. I don’t know exactly what you were doing exactly, but I’ve never felt anything quite like that. The waves that kept going on and on at the same intensity even though my body was ready for the waves to subside, they kept on and on going! Looking forward to next time…..:)
8/22/2013
Hi! Thanks for making my birthday present special.
Here’s a pic of how things are progressing… I love it! Although pain from sitting down is starting to become a memory, I think it’ll probably hardly hurt at all in another day or two 🙁 awww
I loved, loved, loved being sewn shut and I can’t stop thinking about it. We took the sutures out this morning, but I really would have preferred to leave them in much longer. The only reason we didn’t was because we wanted to get it disinfected. I’ve never done something like that before and what I didn’t expect was to be so excited to do it again. I missed having it sewn shut all day.
I also really don’t want to do too much to guide the experience by saying the right (or wrong) thing. For example, I was seriously super excited that I was about to be sounded for the first time, but I didn’t really want to give anything away until after the fact. My sexual fantasies are typically centered around a powerful, anonymous figure or captor inflicting their torments on me. I like the experience to feel non-consensual for my part, including not having an exit or safeword. (I might clarify, it isn’t so much about wanting to feel like a victim, so much as it is the power of the dehumanization and objectification that this situation implies).
Obviously a safeword is needed for some situations, like when, for example, I’m about to faint… 🙂 but for a situation to feel real or genuine enough to really capture my interest I need to feel like it can’t simply be shut down once started. If I’ve committed to “hurt me however you want”, but I can stop it with a word, then the situation has no power. I want – NEED – “wimping out” to be an invalid use of a safeword.
It’s this desire to feel totally out of control that prompted all of the negotiation for the scene to happen out of my hands in the first place. If my girlfriend negotiates for me, I am a) robbed of the ability to describe in pedantic detail what I want and b) relieved of the uncomfortable sensation of having to ask for torment that I want inflicted on me with sadistic disregard of my feelings
On a related note, I read your blog post, “The Problem with Dominants” and I have to say that this really stuck out to me: “In many ways I find traditional power exchange (I am the dominant because we’ve decided this) to be corny and unrealistic“. This is exactly how I feel. I’m not really much of a submissive person, though most of my fantasies place me on the bottom. That power is TAKEN from me, BEATEN (or extorted) out of me, not given up willingly. I’m cooperative with a play partner to the extent that I want to have a good experience, like letting myself get tied up in the first place, but I hate the idea of becoming a simpering wimp with no justification. Really I would prefer to be bound and helpless for the duration of a scene, so that I can feel free to struggle and protest in vain. The more I have to cooperate with my own torment, in many ways the less realistic and less erotic it becomes.
Do let us know when you get your scary new lead-filled toy in. I’d be happy to help you break it in. And I’m really excited to get into a whole bunch of other fucked up stuff.
Hoping to be the object of your abuse again soon,
10/20/2013
Dear Madame Ruby, Thank You for the unbelievably amazing experience yesterday! Your exquisite touch and expert guidance in fulfilling my long held dream was magical. Thank You so very kindly Madame. You are amazing! 🙂 Thank You Madame! I hope I did truly please You and bring You enjoyment. You rocked my world Ma’am.
9/24/2013
Hi Goddess Ruby,Is it okay to for me to address you that way? First of all I’d like to thank you for our most recent time together. I’m sorry I didn’t have much to say afterward. I do have a few notes that I’ve been meaning to pass on to you.
The sounding was something I’d do again in spite of it being the most painful thing we tried. I think I could start to enjoy the intensity of the pain, and also the idea of stretching to accommodate larger objects as you mentioned such as fingers or toys is intriguing. Each time you pressed on me with your hand I could feel the same pain but to a lesser degree, so it was an interesting combination.The bondage made everything that much more tantalizing, so I’d definitely do that again. I also enjoyed seeing the pattern of the rope marks on my skin.The toothpick as you called it was frightening because I imagined it skewering me. Thank you so much for painting my toenails. I know you didn’t have to do that and it made me feel good. I haven’t purchased a corset yet; the options were somewhat overwhelming. For now I have a waist cincher, and it seems to work okay.
9/25/2013
Ruby,
First of all thank you so much for your guidance last night. Another awesome session! I skipped my masturbation session early this morning as you ordered. I instead thought of an idea. I take frequent trips for work that last anywhere from 2 to 5 days sometimes. If I ordered a chastity device I could experience a few days of it without anyone knowing. I found some small padlocks that actually use 4 letter words as the combination. If I ordered a 4 pack of the locks I could have them sent to you you could come up with the word combinations and mail them to me without me knowing the words that unlock them. I could snap the lock in place at the beginning of the trip and you could text me the word to unlock the lock on the last day right before I get home. That way I arrive home after several days of chastity and ready to see my wife. I know that might be more of a hassle than you care for with the locks but I would pay you to do it if your interested.
I love letting you control and guide me on this journey! I slept with my headphones on last night with the hypno mp3 from Candice called Pussywhipped. I keep hearing some of the catch phrases like to get the pussy you have to be the pussy. I am so glad you understand my submissive desire and do not judge me for them.
8/22/2013
Hi Ruby,
It was great seeing you last night. Overall I enjoyed myself, but was a little disappointed in size and hardness (he didn’t seem to ever get really hard) of you know what.
Actually I was most turned on by – a sexy woman – than anything else…as that is what I’m most interested in anyway! And mostly I like lingerie on sexy women too…